As a girl growing up in the age of social media, I do not think that this is a surprising question that I have asked myself. From 8am to 10 pm (my usual waking hours) I am off and on Instagram, Tiktok, Vsco, Snapchat, Pinterest and more. As I am not in school anymore, and since I do spend quite a lot of time riding buses to and from Jerusalem, I find myself scrolling all. the. time. As you may have guessed, and possibly relate to, I see tailored content all day long. I follow actresses and influencers avidly: I am a total sucker for the Kardashians, I adore Hailey Bieber, Emma Chamberlain is a total dream, been a fan of Emily Ratajkowsky 4ever, a Matilda Djerf adorer, and so much more. I consider myself to be someone with a lot of self confidence and perspective, but constantly feeding myself these pictures, people, and bodies all day long can break even the toughest confidence. Here's the thing. Social Media is in my life for good. I just like it. I love seeing my friends pose and post and live. I love finding recipes on my explore page and saving them like I will cook them (I won't). I really love stalking- finding clues in the curated posts of artists like Harry Styles (which if you haven't been watching lately GO CHECK IT OUT) but also just doing my checkups on people who literally have no role in my life, I am merely just curious about them. Even so, there are decisions that you and I can make that can help my mental health in terms of self judgement, self doubt, and self criticism. Go through your following.
What? Why? Well because you have probably had your instagram account since you were in middle school. Do you really need to keep seeing the influencers you followed from your youtube days? Or the kids from middle school or high school who you have never spoken to nor seen again? Now, going through your following takes a lot of time and dedication. In my experience, totally worth it. In January I went through my 2000+ accounts that I followed and narrowed it down to 638 (as of today ;) This has drastically changed my feed. Now instead of sponsorships, random accounts, meme pages, celebrities and more covering my page, I see my real friends, family, news accounts, and the few influencers and celebrities I can't let go of just yet. Oh and @trashcanpaul. I am scrolling for less time now, I am interacting with a smaller range of content, and so less content is being directed towards me in other ways, and overall I am seeing real people - people I know, and know what they actually look like. In addition I followed some body positivity pages and acne positivity pages to periodically remind me of some reality....
2. Go through your followers.
Same thing applies - get rid of all the people you don't know anymore, don't care about, or just don't like. Get rid of the old obsessions from when you watched a Netflix show and then compulsively followed all the actors to keep and eye on them. Get rid of the musically crushes, and the inactive accounts from people who got hacked. When you begin cleaning out your following you begin to see how many bots, people you don't care about, people who are total creep accounts and more. Now I know, losing followers is not ideal. We can pretend we don't care about how many followers we have but we do. Or at least I do. Still, the way I convinced myself to delete 1,400 people who followed me last year was by simply telling myself that since I was the one doing it- it had nothing to do with whether or not people liked me, which is true. Now I am down to just under 600 followers, and my feed once again has changed. The accounts that I left to follow me all follow the same rule - I either have met this person in real life, or I know 3 real facts about them. This might be exhausting to be so meticulous about followers but at least go through and remove all the randos.
3. Think about what you are posting.
I like to think my instagram is an accurate portrayal of who I am, but it isn't and I don't think it ever will be. It doesn't show the bad stuff, or the awkward weird things, or even just the regular day to day stuff. I actually think thats okay, people don't need to know all the boring parts and I definitely am not going to start posting pictures where I look absolutely terrible - I mean that wouldn't do anything for my confidence anyways. However I can make the choice to not manipulate the content I do choose to post: Here's what I mean by that. I am someone who really, really is affected by my skin. It is never terrible, but even the smallest zit or breakout totally can bring me down. In pictures I have definitely edited them out, telling myself "Well I don't always look like this so there's no reason to keep them in the picture..." There is. Showing myself that I can post a picture with acne, or a picture with some stomach rolls, some unflattering slouching, or the weird bumps and bruises that are always on my thighs, means that I can be confident with all aspects of who I am, and hopefully can show others they can be too! It is also just in general more honest, make you more real to others and like-able too I think.
4. Set those screen-time reminders.
Do I have screen-time on my social media apps? Yes. Do I actually listen to it when it says I should get off? Mmm, not really. But- I am aware of how much I have been on it that day. Seeing the hourglass tells me an hour at least of my day has gone to this app and I am at the very least conscious of how I have spent my time everyday. Maybe you are someone who will respect the screen-time... who knows. It is definitely worth a shot.
5. Lose all your Snapchat streaks.
As a human partaking in the year of 2022, why do you still have streaks? Or a better question- why do you still have streaks with people you do not even talk to? How much meaning does that number bring to your life? Maybe I am wrong about this one, but I don't think so. Streaks are unnecessary. They were created to engage Snapchat consumers multiple times a day, everyday. You may not recognize it but they are also a tiny stress added to your day. (At least they were for me when people would get mad at me for losing them) There is no point. And that way you are interacting with people on Snap who you actually care enough to talk to.
6. Hide Likes
Instagram in a recent update came out with the ability to hide likes on your posts. For me now, I will post and instantly click on the three dots on the top right of the picture and turn off the like count. It was not until I did this when I realized how much I actually cared, because I really truly thought that I didn't. Anyways, it also transformed instagram to be a media where I could post more kinds of pictures - less of myself and more of other friends, places, and Lucky ;)
Those were 6, pretty simple steps, with guaranteed results. At least they worked really well for me. I don't fall asleep anymore at night thinking about how little I accomplished in my day, and so I sleep more deeply. I don't stand in front of the mirror quite as often anymore, wishing that I would magically get a bigger butt, or a more toned body. I don't have random facts or images of people I don't know floating around in my head for no reason, and I also don't have those meme pages posting inappropriate content and pictures of half naked girls randomly just sitting on my instagram home page. Anyways, I hope at least some part of this helped and I wanted to affirm, insecurity is normal - everyone is insecure in someway, I definitely am. But you can change things, and you can make it easier on yourself. <3
originally published in leilaslove
Anedny Portrait Studio specializes in newborn sessions in Cypress TX and surrounding areas of Houston TX, Tomball TX, Spring TX and The Woodlands TX. In addition to newborn, we also offer maternity and family photo sessions.
It makes me so happy you are here and I am eager to talk to you about your newborn photography session. I am sure you and your family will enjoy my boutique studio. While I wrap and cuddle your baby, you can relax and enjoy a laid back atmosphere, listen to soft music, help yourself to any of our snacks made available for you and even enjoy a glass of wine, bubbly water or fresh coffee. I will take some beautiful images for you to cherish forever. Let us pamper mom with hair and makeup; your experience will be unforgettable and enjoyable, since I've thought through every detail for you.
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